Mean girls

I’ve seen this video in a couple of places – not exactly catfighting, but not exactly Queensberry rules, either:

Other than the hairpulling at the end, I didn’t see anything in there that I don’t regularly see at my son’s high school soccer games. Soccer isn’t the wussy game some people think. And they play in the rain, unlike another “sport” I could name.

On the same hand, we already knew that beauty pageants can be nasty and rough, but:

Miss England Relinquishes Crown After Bar Fight

LONDON — The reigning Miss England has relinquished her crown after being accused of a fight in a bar.

Pageant organizers say Rachel Christie has also withdrawn from next month’s Miss World competition in South Africa.

They said in a statement that the 21-year-old heptathlete will now focus on clearing her name and training for the 2012 Olympics.
British newspapers reported that Christie got into a dustup with another beauty queen — Miss Manchester Sara Beverley Jones — in a nightclub earlier this week.

They were fighting over a guy. The new Miss England is Lance Corporal Katrina Hodge, a British Army soldier who was decorated for bravery in Iraq.

They call her “Combat Barbie.” Respectfully, I’d guess.

People who read French read the TrogloPundit

Le TrogloPundit, juste une autre Bloviating Troglodyte!

So here’s what happened. Shortly after Michael Jackson died, I noted the existence of Michael-Jackson-is-Alive conspiracy theorists. I still get some hits on it, because, you know, the truth is out there.

So today I’m checking my traffic (in an entirely non-obsessive-compulsive fashion) and I notice some hits coming from this link, which is a babelfish translation of that very same post. Pretty cool.

I love how it translates some of the stuff on the sidebar, but not all of it. N Ecoulement des oeufs, for example. Riehl Regard sur le monde. Les articles divers Shack.

I’ve mentioned my own adventures with babelfish before, to wit: it doesn’t really work. It scrambles syntax, and has no idea what to do with colloquialisms or slang. So I wonder what the French-speaking people who are clicking that link think?

UPDATE - Oh yeah. Carla Bruni reads TrogloPundit.

Headline of the Day

From Bill Jacobsen:

Destroying More Jobs Cannot Wait Until Monday

The House wants to vote on health care “reform” over the weekend, see. Not sure if they can swing it, but they’re trying. Read the whole thing.

There’s gonna be some jealous conservatives out there over this.

Democratic civil war update: MoveOn raises $3.6 million to attack party moderates

A few days ago, the left-wing activist group MoveOn.org began sending out emails seeking contributions to fund primary challenges against any Democratic senator who does not fully support “health care reform with a public option.” Now there’s an update: MoveOn executive director Justin Ruben says the group has raised $3,578,117 for the project and is thinking of new ways to punish errant Democratic lawmakers.

We’ve got our true-believing ideologues, they’ve got theirs.

Via Memeorandum.

You know, unemployment would be a lot lower if all you people would just stop looking for work.

U.S. Unemployment Rate Hits 10.2%, Highest in 26 Years

The American unemployment rate surged to 10.2 percent in October, its highest level in 26 years, as the economy lost another 190,000 jobs, the Labor Department reported Friday.

The unemployment rate is the percentage of Americans who want to work, but who don’t have a job. So if the people who want a job would just please give up already, the unemployment rate would plummet.

And why wouldn’t you? Don’t you trust President Obama to take care of you?

Must be a Republican conspiracy. Via Memeorandum.

Coke adds life

Outrage as Doctors’ Group Allows Coca-Cola to Sponsor Health Advice:

Advice about soft drinks and health from one of the nation’s largest doctors groups will soon be brought to you by Coke.

The American Academy of Family Physicians has prompted outcry and lost members over its new six-figure alliance with the Coca-Cola Co. The deal will fund educational materials about soft drinks for the academy’s consumer health and wellness Web site, www.FamilyDoctor.org.

Doctors and such folk see this as a breach of integrity: how can the AAFP work for healthier lifestyles when a junk food company could threaten to yank funding at any time?

They shouldn’t look at it like that. They should look at it as: under the illusion of good public relations, Coca-Cola is helping to ensure its own doom!

Alternate conclusion: It’s those Coke Zero guys!

Note: the appearance of several NASCAR drivers in the preceding YouTube video in no way violates my previous pledge to stop writing about Danica Patrick possibly signing with a NASCAR team. Although since we’re already talking about it, there’s been no new news in the last few hours.

Good time to be on the fence.

Pelosi: ‘We will’ have the votes to pass healthcare bill by Saturday

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi predicted Thursday she will have the votes to pass the Democratic healthcare bill by Saturday.

The statement, however, is a tacit acknowledgement that she doesn’t have them yet.

“We will,” Pelosi said, when asked if she had the 218 votes needed to pass the $1.055 trillion bill, designed to extend healthcare to 96 percent of the population and create a government health insurance plan.

Whaddaya suppose it’ll be worth to the Speaker to drag that last vote off the fence in time to meet her self-imposed deadline?

Via Memeorandum

Look, I’m not falling for this “Danica Patrick going to NASCAR” thing again.

It’s like the story that never dies. The Neverending Story. Which was kind of a stupid movie, really, if you like things like plot and character and writing, although if you went to see that movie looking for those things I kind of question your intelligence in the first place.

Oh, fine, let’s talk about this again:

Sources: Danica Near NASCAR Deal

IndyCar Series and crossover media star Danica Patrick is nearing completion of a two-year contract with JR Motorsports, the NASCAR Nationwide Series operation owned by Dale Earnhardt Jr., and a source close to the negotiations described the talks as being “in the final phase.”

A second source close to the situation confirmed the deal is moving forward, saying “talks are moving in a very positive direction and it would probably be a surprise if it didn’t happen.”

Hey, here’s an idea: let’s hold our breath this time!

Or, no, wait, maybe that’s not such a good idea. I think we’ve been talking about Danica jumping to NASCAR since…oh, sometime in 2005. Every couple months, every few weeks or so, the story pops right back up again.

And then a few weeks later, it pops back up again. And then again. And then again.

And we all dutifully write about it.

I’m starting to wonder just how much of this is PR on the Patrick camp’s part – keep teasing the media to keep her name in the news. And then, of course, the media bites at whatever bait they throw out because they figure people want to read it because Danica’s Danica and maybe people figure there’ll be a picture of her in the story.

Which, frequently, there is.

Well I’m drawing the line. I’ve written my last “Danica jumping to NASCAR” post unless (until) she actually signs with a NASCAR team. Until then, I stand on principle. Traffic be damned.

Republicans are such violent people.

Good thing Bill Clinton isn’t president anymore, or there’d be Democrats getting the vapors over this:

Thousands of opponents of the Democrats’ health care legislation are gathered outside the Capitol, for a noon news conference and rally led by Representative Michele Bachmann, Republican of Minnesota, and the chants are already under way, echoing across the Mall.

“Kill the bill!” they are shouting. “Kill the bill!”

Come to think of it, the current president’s name does start with a “b.” Maybe these protesters are just too stupid to figure that out? Or, no, wait: they’re all racists, who don’t want to actually say such a foreign-sounding name!

They’re threatening the president! Somebody ought to file a complaint.

Picture gleefully swiped from Gateway Pundit.

Keep your coverage, and pay less for it!

The Congressional Budget Office hearts the Republican health care plan!

CBO: Republican health plan would reduce premiums, cut deficit

The Congressional Budget Office Wednesday night released its cost analysis of the Republican health care plan and found that it would reduce health care premiums and cut the deficit by $68 billion over ten years.

The Republican plan does not call for a government insurance plan but rather attempts to reform the system by creating high-risk insurance pools, allowing people to purchase health insurance policies across state lines and instituting medical malpractice reforms.

UPDATE – am I going to have to read this damned thing myself? Ezra Klein:

According to CBO, the GOP’s alternative will shave $68 billion off the deficit in the next 10 years. The Democrats, CBO says, will slice $104 billion off the deficit.

The Democratic bill, in other words, covers 12 times as many people and saves $36 billion more than the Republican plan.

But the Examiner reports:

The CBO put the price tag for the GOP plan at $61 billion, a fraction of the $1.05 trillion cost estimate it gave to the House bill that lawmakers are set to vote on this weekend. And the CBO found that the Republican provision to reform medical malpractice liability would result in $41 billion in savings and increase revenues by $13 billion by reducing the cost of private health insurance plans.

How does the Democrat plan “save more” than the Republican plan when the Democrat plan costs 17 times as much as the Republican plan?

Dammit, now I’m gonna hafta go read the dang CBO thing myself to figure this out. Like I don’t have enough to do already. I should just call Klein a big dumkopf and be done with it.

Via Memeorandum.

An interesting bit of spin

Brian Beutler: yesterday’s overwhelming Republican gubernatorial wins – plus a narrow loss by a virtually unknown third-party conservative candidate – means ObamaCare will be easier to pass.

Yes, that’s what I said. Here’s Brian:

Yesterday’s Overwhelming Historic Republican Victory Makes Democratic Health Care Reform Just A Bit Easier

What’s gone largely unnoticed is that the two congressional seats up for grabs last night both went to Democrats, and that will have immediate ramifications for health care reform.

… Yesterday, Democrats had 256 voting members in the House. By week’s end, they’ll have 258. Last week, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi could afford to lose no more than 38 Democratic votes on a landmark health care reform bill. Next week, after Owens and Garamendi are sworn in, she can lose up to 40.

No kidding? And all those moderate Democrats who are so very nervous about voter backlash on the issue…what happened to them?

All that angst over hyperspending; all the kerfluffle-itis over massive growth in government; all the concern that independent voters are breaking hard for Republican candidates in previously solid Obama states?

I’ve been reading about how much antacid Democrats – especially moderate Democrats – have been popping for quite some time now. But never mind that: they’re all totally on board the Obama train now because an establishment Democrat in New York who was endorsed by the race’s lone Republican beat an unknown third-party conservative by…what was it? Four points?

Our long national nightmare is finally over

Carrie Prejean and the Miss California USA organization have settled their dueling lawsuits.

The legal war between former Miss California USA Carrie Prejean and pageant organizers is over.

A joint statement released Tuesday says Prejean and the organizers of the pageant reached a confidential settlement on dueling lawsuits.

Prejean sued Miss California USA organizers in August for libel, slander and religious discrimination. She accused them of telling her to stop mentioning God even before her controversial remarks against gay marriage.

Funny, that’s not how CNN described the suits:

The pageant has dropped its lawsuit filed last month demanding Prejean repay $5,200 given her for breast implants, publicist Kenn Henman said.

Prejean, in exchange, withdrew her suit accusing the pageant of violating her privacy by confirming to reporters that her breasts were fake, he said.

I wonder why they chose to focus on that?

UPDATE - well crap, this may just ruin my faith in human nature.

Prejean Sex Tape Triggers Settlement

Carrie Prejean demanded more than a million dollars during her settlement negotiations with Miss California USA Pageant officials — that is, until the lawyer for the Pageant showed Carrie an XXX home video of her handiwork.

That would certainly do it. Something had to make her drop her side of the suit – I assumed she simply realized it wasn’t going to go anywhere.

One thing makes me a little bit skeptical:

The video the lawyer showed Carrie is extremely graphic and has never been released publicly. We know that, because TMZ obtained the video months ago but decided not to post it because it was so racy.

TMZ decided not to post it…because it was too racy? TMZ…don’t they make money on TMZ? Isn’t it a for-profit website?

They don’t have to post the whole video – just a screencap or two. Just a description. Imagine the traffic they could generate just by reporting that they have it. But they didn’t, because it was too racy, even though they didn’t have to show the racy parts?

Might be true. I just have trouble with it.

More at American Power, Jammie Wearing Fool, and Memeorandum.

UPDATE II - Is her book still being released this month?

Dueling headlines

A divided party: Progressives threaten Democratic lawmakers

MoveOn.org is sending out emails today seeking more contributions for its campaign to defeat any Democratic senator who does not fully support Obamacare.

But:

Conservatives ready to flex muscles, take on GOP establishment in elections across nation

In what could be a nightmare scenario for Republican Party officials, conservative activists are gearing up to challenge leading GOP candidates in more than a dozen key House and Senate races in 2010.

Both sides are experiencing some of the same rift between establishment and true-believing usually-core demographics. But stories about those rifts always seem to focus on one side or the other – never on both at once.

That’s odd.

$300,000 for a GPS-equipped helicopter to hunt for radioactive rabbit droppings at the Hanford nuclear reservation in Washington state.

Now there’s a sentence you never thought you’d read. Am I right? Of course I am.

That is one of the many examples compiled by the Washington Examiner of how the $787 billion (remember when that sounded like a lot of money?) “stimulus” bill, passed in February, was spent.

A few of my favorites from the list:

• $219,000 for Syracuse University to study the sex lives of freshmen women.

You have to pay somebody to do that?

• $2.3 million for the U.S. Forest Service to rear large numbers of arthropods, including the Asian longhorned beetle, the nun moth and the woolly adelgid.

Those are all invasive species. We’re trying to eradicate them. Thus, this is a double stimulus: job security for the Forest Service employees doing the “rearing,” and job security for the DNR folks trying to get rid of them.

• $356,000 for Indiana University to study childhood comprehension of foreign accents compared with native speech.

• $1.3 million on government arts jobs in Maine, including $30,000 for basket makers, $20,000 for storytelling and $12,500 for a music festival.

And:

• $300 apiece for thousands of signs at road construction sites across the country announcing that the projects are funded by stimulus money.

I love that one. Not only would those sign-makers not have that work without the stimulus, they wouldn’t have that work without the stimulus!

Now, before we all go getting all uptight and outraged and full of righteous indignation, let’s remember what the purpose of the “stimulus” bill was. To stimulate the economy, by pumping money in – money which would have a “multiplier effect,” and “create jobs.”

Or “create and save jobs,” maybe.

So. In theory, it doesn’t matter how stupid or superfluous some of the specific pork projects make-work stimulus efforts sound. For example:

• $3.4 million for a 13-foot tunnel for turtles and other wildlife attempting to cross U.S. 27 in Lake Jackson, Fla.

• $1.15 million to install a guardrail for a persistently dry lake bed in Guymon, Okla.

• $9.38 million to renovate a century-old train depot in Lancaster County, Pa., that has not been used for three decades.

Or:

• $800,000 for the John Murtha Airport in Johnstown, Pa., serving about 20 passengers per day, to build a backup runway.

Or:

• $462,000 to purchase 22 concrete toilets for use in the Mark Twain National Forest in Missouri

As long as somebody’s getting paid to pursue these ridiculous projects that would never, ever get funded if they were relying on the private sector, then that means a job has been “created or saved,” and thus, the “stimulus” money is having the desired effect.

Right?

Of course, if that’s the case, we maybe should have seen some economic benefits, economy-wide, by now. Maybe? Nine months after the bill passed?

Maybe. At the very least, optimism should bloom from the knowledge that all that money is being poured – like liquefied animal waste products on a cornfield – into the economy. Optimism, expectations, speculation have a lot to do with economic indicators, at least in the short term.

But:

The unemployment rate hit a 26-year high of 9.8 percent in September. Most analysts expect a 9.9 percent reading for October.

And, while acknowledging that projections tend to suck:

…A Fed staff projection used by policymakers at the September 22-23 FOMC meeting showed unemployment holding as high as 9.25 percent by the end of 2010 and then falling to about 8.0 percent by the end of 2011.

It’s not like the stimulus money was taken directly out of somebody’s pocket. It wouldn’t have been in the economy without the “stimulus” bill – not yet, anyway. It was all borrowed, and will thus be sucked out of the economy in coming years.

I wonder what the effect would have been, had the “stimulus” been funded directly with tax money rather than with borrowed money. I wonder more what the effect would have been if the “stimulus” hadn’t happened at all.

Not that I have anything against people who make a living building concrete toilets.

“Great, kid. Don’t get cocky.”

GOP sweep: Big governor victories in Virginia, NJ.

Still waiting on that NY-23 thing, though.

The Lions had already declared war on Islamic terrorists, but they’ve only won one game in the last two seasons. Nobody’s afraid of them anymore.

Via Jammie Wearing Fool: Bears Declare War on Islamic Terrorists

A bear killed two militants after discovering them in its den in Indian-administered Kashmir, police say.

Two other militants escaped, one of them badly wounded, after the attack in Kulgam district, south of Srinagar.

Sounds like some new CIA program to me.

UPDATE - Hey, look, this is on Memeorandum.

What have I been saying?

From Funny Graphs

Yes, Megan, they actually squeezed some plot in.

A new addition to my list of ambitions

My life’s new ambition: to witness…or – oh, yes please, maybe even be the cause of…Stacy McCain going into a royal conniption like this one.

You gotta click, then scroll to the second update to see what I’m talking about. Sounds like a good old-fashioned sat-in-the-crawfish-bucket kind of hop around and cuss fest! Yee-haw!

Do you think he turns purple when he gets like that? Or maybe starts to stutter? Lot of dads will start to stutter when they get really mad. It’s the self-censoring reflex you develop when you’ve got kids.

You know what I should do? I should get some of those paddles they use with the defibrillation machines. Clear! Zap! Just fake ones, of course. But then when he starts getting mad I can bring them out like I’m ready, just in case. That would be fun.

I guess we haven’t had a good panic in a while.

Alternate headline: Zombies of the sea!

Enormous Jellyfish Sink Japanese Fishing Boat

Pink, slimy and repellent, the Nomura’s jellyfish is an authentic horror of the deep that’s been assaulting Japan. Now the creatures have sunk a 10-ton fishing trawler.

Oh my God! Why do they hate us? Call the Navy – we have to protect our shipping lanes! How many of these monsters are there? What do they want? Can they be stopped with conventional weapons?

Oh. Wait:

The boat was capsized off Chiba in Japan, as its three-man crew was trying to haul in a net containing dozens of huge Nomura’s jellyfish.

Yeah…so, um…why didn’t they stop trying to “haul in” the net when their boat started to tip?

Note: this is the second post in a row I’ve tagged with “misleading headlines,” and they both came from Fox News. That just seems significant.

What do you make of this?

Good economic news: Ford Reports Surprise $1 Billion 3Q Profit

DEARBORN, Mich. — Ford, the only Detroit automaker to dodge direct government aid and bankruptcy court, surprised investors with net income of nearly $1 billion in the third quarter and forecast a “solidly profitable” 2011.

The automaker said Monday earnings were fueled by U.S. market share gains, cost cuts and the Cash for Clunkers program, which drew flocks of buyers to showrooms this summer. Ford’s stock rose 40 cents, or 5.7 percent, to $7.40 in pre-market trading.

It’s an enormous turnaround, especially considering the economy:

The company lost more than $14.6 billion last year and hasn’t posted a full-year profit since 2005.

I love it that Ford is making a profit without having taken the government cheese, but isn’t it a little too simple to just connect those two dots? Yes! There’s more to the story than the headline says:

The earnings came despite an $800 million revenue drop.

So the higher earnings weren’t the result of selling more cars.

Ford said it cut costs by $1 billion during the quarter, accomplished through layoffs in North America and Europe, reduced pension and retiree health care costs and improvements in productivity and product development.

They managed to cut their costs by more than they lost in revenue. That puts a different spin on things, doesn’t it?