Which, by the way, is not ironic. The story:
Call it Black Wednesday. Recreational marijuana goes on sale legally in Colorado on Jan. 1, and Denver officials are worried that the city’s retail shops won’t be anywhere close to meeting demand.
At a city-council meeting Monday, lawmakers in Colorado’s largest city raised questions about licensing delays and the prospect of people queuing up for hours in what have been historically low temperatures.
Oh, please. They aren’t going to “queue up for hours.” Who exactly uses the word “queue” on this side of the Atlantic, anyway? That right there should clue us in that this is a non-story.
Anyway, won’t they all just kind of wander off after a while? It’s not like they’ll come prepared with enough munchies. They’ll have to go hit a 7-11 or something.
UPDATE – help is on the way!
UPDATE II - God I love this story. It just keeps giving.
Though more than 100 stores are waiting to have applications approved by the city and state, a process that involves multiple inspections and a public hearing…
Yeah, people who want to sell marijuana for a living can keep all that perfectly straight.
…a small fraction of that number are likely to be open by 8 a.m., Jan. 1, when legal sales for recreational marijuana begin.
Eight a.m.? Who made that decision, and has he/she ever met a stoner?
Answer: if yes, it sure wasn’t at 8 a.m.
Employees from the city’s department of excise and licenses estimated that Denver will have around 12 legal retail outlets in operation.
Of course, all the illegal ones will have voluntarily closed up shop.
City officials are worried about the ability of those stores to handle the expected crowds…
Dude, stoners are mellow.
…which they said will be supplemented by marijuana tourists arriving on chartered buses. Security is also a concern, as marijuana can only be purchased with cash.
Why in the world would you only allow purchases with cash?
No, you stupid (and probably wife-beating) redneck racist. It’s only dark money if you give it to a conservative.
Sheesh. Get it straight.
MADISON, Wisc. — Lisa Graves has made a comfortable living “exposing” the conservative “dark money” conspiracy.
But she’s spent most of the past week trying to explain revelations that her own organization accepted “dark money” — more than half a million dollars in cash from anonymous sources.
What! They accepted money from people who agree with what they’re trying to do and who want to help spread their political/social agenda by contributing money they legally earned for themselves? Why…that’s unAmerican!
Canada to claim North Pole
…”We have asked our officials and scientists to do additional work and necessary work to ensure that a submission for the full extent of the continental shelf in the Arctic includes Canada’s claim to the North Pole,” he told a press conference.
“Fundamentally, we are drawing the last lines of Canada. We are defending our sovereignty,” added Arctic Minister Leona Aglukkaq.
Okay, so they’re not actually annexing the North Pole. They’re basically saying the North Pole is already part of Canada, no annexation required.
Bureaucracy bubble note: Canada has an “Arctic Minister.” If we had one of those, it would be Hillary.
Cheap shot? Heh. Snort. Yeah.
Anyway. According to the story, both Russia and Denmark – yes, Denmark – are also laying claim. Not sure how those Danes figure it, there being 7 or 8 countries farther north than they are, but there you go.
I know what you’re thinking: Canada can’t claim the North Pole! That’s ours! To which I say: relax. Canada’s basically just a satellite country of ours, anyway. A buffer state between us and Russia. It’ll be like Homer buying Marge a bowling ball for Christmas.
Note: Anybody see the movie reference?
- What comes to mind when you read the following excerpt?
The chief executives of McDonald’s and Starbucks earn more than $9,200 an hour, which is at least 1,000 times the hourly wages of their sales associates, according to a new report by the personal finance website NerdWallet.
- Answer 1: “Oh my God, that’s disgraceful!”
- Answer 2: “Oh my God, how do I get there?”
UPDATE - Yes, I know, it’s entirely possible to have a “holy crap!” moment after seeing a number like “$9,200 an hour.” And yes, it would be perfectly normal to wonder whether or not those people are really earning that much money. And yes, it’s completely acceptable to believe, as I do, that someone like me, plus twenty years’ experience in business administration, could do that job just as well, or probably better, for less.
Let not him who is houseless pull down the house of another, but let him work diligently and build one for himself, thus by example assuring that his own shall be safe from violence when built.
Be inspired by, not jealous of, others’ success.
Question: aren’t celebrities supposed to at least pretend they think it’s funny when somebody makes jokes about them in an award-show kind of setting? Because Danica and boytoy don’t seem to have gotten that message:
Ha! Does this fire-retardant suit make me look fat? She’s not used to being this close to the front! That, as we in the business like to say, is good stuff.
I especially like the part where Mohr thanks the director for cutting to shots of people in the audience who aren’t laughing, which seems to be just Danica and boytoy.
UPDATE - yes, I know he’s got a name. I just can’t remember it right now.
Ann Althouse asks, before also asking:
You just need heads. Which heads would look best on a pike?
Man, I look good anywhere.
Ann used the wrong picture, by the way.
Oh, stop. Of course they’re not: they’re trying to save the oceans! They just accidentally called their website “Fishlove” and had people pose in…well, interesting positions with what I assume are a bunch of stuffed fish.
I have to assume that, see, because otherwise I’d have to ask: did any of these fish survive the photoshoot that was supposed to help save them?
There’s nothing fishy about Gillian Anderson’s love of sea life.
The “X-Files” alum is so devoted to the underwater world that she stripped bare for a campaign to stop the destruction of the ocean. But it’s quite a photo because she uses an eel — yes, an eel! — to cover up her lady bits.
I know what you’re thinking: eeew. Slimy! Which makes me wonder: is this eel actually alive? And if so, did it survive the photoshoot? Under all those lights, and the handling, and the being out of water?
Eels, by the way, can survive for significant amounts of time out of water, or so my usual (5 minutes) of internet research appears to conclude.
But that wasn’t the only photo taken for the shoot, which:
The photo project was done for the organization Fishlove and included some other U.K.-based celebrities posing in the buff with critters ranging from bass fish to sharks. Its goal is to raise awareness of how overfishing is destroying the oceans.
Bass and sharks. Guess what? They can’t survive out of water.
Did they use already-dead fish for this? And if so, what was the buffet table like after? Or are those even real fish? Now that I’ve written that, it sure seems more likely that they’re not. That they’re fake, or at least stuffed.
Which would seem to make this blog post ridiculous, so let’s ignore that option. Here, be temporarily distracted:
That’s Maia Norman, some kind of fashion designer who was married to a really famous British artist once, I take it.
And, come to think of it, just handling the occasional smallmouth bass is hard enough. They flop. No way that fish is alive, if it was ever even a real fish.
As I mentioned earlier, the project is called “Fishlove.” Because just posing with dead fish isn’t creepy enough. There’s a Facebook page, which I link here because, why should the NSA have evidence that we all googled the term “fish love?”
Go ahead, click through those pictures. Caution: minor nudity warning. And please note that, when they say “Fishlove,” they’re not being entirely metaphorical.