Which makes this the stranger story: the “transsexual sister-in-law,” or the faux-Excalibur assault?

From Saturday’s Baraboo News Republic, a lede you simply don’t see every day:

A Baraboo man’s request for movie-watching silence is what caused his transsexual sister-in-law to become enraged and stab him with a sword, the man said in court Friday.

Don’t even try to tell me the reporter – and probably his editor – weren’t giggling like schoolboys with a contraband Playboy while they were writing that sentence.

And there’s more!

He gave police a bogus story about two men attacking him with a knife in front of the Baraboo Civic Center, but the cops didn’t buy it.

Troy Uselmann then came clean, telling officers what he now claims to be the real version of events.

Just how bad was that first story that the cops believed the second one?

And let’s not forget that “transsexual sister-in-law” part, which implies some really, really odd marriage arrangements.

According to the story, the attacker is Rhonda Uselmann, formerly known as Robert Brotzmann, which means he…um, I mean she…um, I mean…

…which means Rhonda used to be a man, and married Troy’s brother who, one would hope, knew that Rhonda was once a man.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Tell me again how Chicago beats Baraboo, crime-wise? If it was any closer to April right now, I’d assume this was a Fool’s Day joke.