Eight Angles on the White House Chief of Protocol Story that are Better than the Unfiled Taxes Angle

So the White House has nominated somebody to be Chief of Protocol. About dang time.

Most commentators are focusing on the fact that the nominee, Capricia Penavic Marshall, didn’t pay her taxes in 2005 and 2006.

Snort. Giggle. Another tax delinquent Obama nominee? You have got to be kidding.

But we at The Trog strive to look beyond the obvious storyline, and bring you whatever we just made up out of thin air that deeper analysis upon which you’ve all come to depend.

Thus:

Angle #1: Like a cat pretending he meant to slide uncontrollably across the table and land in the dog’s water dish, President Obama nominated another tax delinquent in order to make it look like he meant to nominate all those other tax delinquents.

Angle #2: Who the hell names their kid “Capricia?” They can’t be Battlestar Galactica fans – she’s older than the show. What is she, Morticia Addams’ cousin or something?

According to this, “Capricia” means “whimsical” or “unpredictable,” or “impulse.”

How lovely.

But you know we’re all thinking “capricious,” which means the same thing as “Capricia,” but with more of a “fickle” and “inconstancy” bent.

Angle #3: Democrats are looking to pad all those lists of hot politicians.

Angle #3a: The White House is hoping she’ll distract libido-ridden Senators from Sonia Sotomayor.

Angle #4: They really need somebody to make protocol decisions for the White House and State Department.

Angle #4a: They really need a scapegoat for the next protocol screw-up in the White House and State Department.

Angle #5: She was “social secretary” in the Clinton White House. They have to keep her on the payroll somehow, or she might blab.

Angle #6: Get this, from the New York Times story:

…after ultimately filing the 2005 and 2006 federal and local paperwork, she was entitled to $37,259 in refunds…

She was owed five figures in refunds and still didn’t file?

She’s too stupid to work at the White House.