I, for one, am getting pretty sick of people picking on Megan Fox.

Headline: Michael Bay Orders Megan Fox to the Doctor Before ‘Transformers 3′

Well, ha ha ha. Just because she’s a spoiled brat starlet who’d be modeling Sailor Moon* costumes at the local Comic Con if she hadn’t landed a role in Transformers, just because her mouth is just big enough to fit one whole foot in there. Because of that, she gets treated like…

…well, like…like she’s…her.

On his blog, Transformers director Michael Bay announces the date Transformers 3** will hit the theaters, and can’t help but take a cheap shot the precocious little cutie:

P.S. Megan Fox, welcome back. I promise no alien robots will harm you in any way during the production of this motion picture. Please consult your Physician when working under my direction because some side effects can occur, such as mild dizziness, intense nausea, suicidal tendencies, depression, minor chest hair growth, random internal hemorrhaging and inability to sleep. As some directors may be hazardous to your health, please consult your Doctor to determine if this is right for you.

Okay, so Megan said a few naughty things in the past. She insulted wide swaths of the American moviegoing public. She compared you – Michael Bay, the director who made her famous – to Adolf Hitler.

Perhaps worst of all, she has ignored my repeated offers of public relations help.

Considering all that, and considering that her latest movie – “Jennifer’s Body” – tanked, one has to wonder: why, Michael Bay, are you even casting her in your third Transformers movie?***

Okay, so she might be under contract. Fine. Or…

…could this all just be public relations? A little media manipulation? Free advertising, perhaps? If so, I’ve gained some respect today for everyone involved. Touche, Michael. Touche.

* I have no idea who that is. I asked my kids for an example and that’s what they said. I swear.

** Because the world demands a third Transformers movie. Subtitle: twice the cleavage, half the plot!

*** Four words the world never thought it would hear.