Some days, writing headlines is the bestest job in the whole world

For example:

• Exotic Dancer Gets Probation in Stiletto Heel Attack on Co-Worker

Tell me that wasn’t fun. Or this one:

• One gay man, two lesbians, a three-legged cat and a poisoned curry plot

Hard to beat the lede on that story, too:

A gay man tried to poison his lesbian neighbours by putting slug pellets into their curry after he was accused of kidnapping their three-legged cat.

While we’re on the subject, this is my all-time favorite lede:

A Baraboo man’s request for movie-watching silence is what caused his transsexual sister-in-law to become enraged and stab him with a sword, the man said in court Friday.

That appeared in the Baraboo News Republic back in March.