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Let’s talk about me.

October 22, 2009

Have a look at this:

traffic1020092300

That’s a TrogloTraffic snapshot from the other day. Note the steep line at the very end. That’s an Instalanche.

A full-fledged one, too. Man it was fun watching my traffic that day. I passed my previous one-day high at about 9:15 in the morning. Doubled that by 11 am.

This is actually the third time Insty linked me. The first two times, though, the link was kind of buried in a long roundup full of links. Thus, the impact was lower. I propose an experiment: we get a bunch of blogs to link the same post under varying conditions: early in the day; late at night. Weekdays, weekends. Part of a long post full of links, or all by itself. Excerpting extensively, or leaving a lot to the imagination. Just to compare how different link tactics work differently.

I’m thinking we enlist Instapundit, Hot Air, Malkin, maybe Drudge. Althouse. Paco. Do you think we could get Paco? Or is that overreaching? Well, can’t hurt to ask. I’ll contact them all to let them know which of my posts they should use, and when.

Watch for my upcoming paper in a very prestigious scientific journal. Soon.

Now look at this:

traffic102209

That’s from earlier today. As you can see, even without the Instalanche, my traffic’s been pretty good lately. Or maybe you can’t see. That spike really makes everything else look tiny. Look close.

Closer.

Here’s the thing, though: most of that traffic – something like 60% to 70% – has come from other bloggers linking, or from google bombs. Oh, yeah. I get ‘em. Don’t know why, but sometimes when I post a picture, that wacky google algorithm (googlorithm?) grabs on tight.

meghan mccain twitterGina Carano’s been a big traffic-generator lately, since she posed topless for ESPN Magazine. Hayden Panettiere kissed a girl on Heroes. Sort of. That got people googling for her. There’s a lot of you sick bastards looking for Marge Simpson’s Playboy pics. And Meghan McCain – after that Twitter pic, she got popular (googular?) for a little while.

And by the way, since you brought that up: what’s with all the hatin’ on Meghan? It’s been my understanding that we want to encourage this kind of behavior (hey, she’s not my daughter). So, while, yes, her little snit fit at being called some undesirable names after posting her picture in what was most decidedly not nice comfy night-around-the-house-wear was juvenile and petty and exposed a sincerely me-first attitude toward the world…leave Meghan the hell alone. You bunch of haters.

Like I said: she’s not my daughter. So it’s okay.

automotivator_imitation

Anyway. Where was I. Right. Traffic. Besides the random hits from people looking for pictures of pretty girls – note that even my full-fledged Instalanche was a link to a post with pictures of a beautiful woman and why, exactly, am I not pretty-girl-blogging exclusively yet?

new_ralph_lauren_modelAnyway, besides that, there’s links from other bloggers. Guys like The Other Smith and The Other McCain, who know they can get away with dissing me as long as they link when they do it, because I’m just that easy. The Linkiest took up a lot of post-Instalanche slack yesterday. Memeorandum…well, that’s okay. Unless you get your very own thread, it doesn’t really generate many hits. Memeorandum is really about being seen. Same with linking Hot Air – automatic trackbacks – and Michelle “Mashed-Up Bag of Meat with Lipstick On It” Malkin, too (except you have to submit the trackback there). You get a little traffic, but it’s really just about being seen.

Pundette is becoming Riehl-like in her ability to drive traffic. Seems like half of Grandpa Steve’s visitors click here from there. And then there’s this group of guys (and girls) who keep linking me, even though I seldom return the favor: GatorDoug (who is going to be absolutely unbearable if the Florida Gators keep winning), Pat (who would be absolutely unbearable except that the Gators beat her LSU Tigers), Jamie “I’m a bigger nerd than you” Jeffords, Chris Wysocki (nice to see you, Chris!), and Fishersville Mike, who doesn’t have a tip jar, but if he did it would be able to accept six-packs.

The occasional Archbold sighting. Jimmie Bise. Ed Driscoll. Bill Jacobsen. Donald Douglas. John Ruberry. Anne Leary.

Oh, and the guys at Conservatives4Palin. They noticed that whole Sarahmotivator thing, which was pretty awesome, traffic-wise.

The point being – and yes, there is a point – maybe thirty percent of my traffic is people who click here on purpose, with the sole intent of seeing what ol’ Trog has posted today. The rest – it’s kind of an accident.

Which is fine, you know, because at least I know somebody’s coming here on purpose (hi, Mom!). And there’s more people coming here on purpose now – you brilliant, discerning, damned good-looking people, you – than there were a month ago.

And, hey, in baseball, thirty percent is Hall of Fame numbers.

But. Insty isn’t going to link here every day. John Hawkins, either. The “Gina Carano topless” and “Hayden Panettiere lesbian kiss” google bombs are going to slow way down (they never really stop). You can’t rely on that kind of thing on a day to day basis.

I want more traffic. Lots more. Like my man Jimmie said:

Let’s face it, if you’re a blogger, you write for the traffic. Sure, sure you blog for the sheer love of writing and all that, but if you didn’t really care about blog traffic, you wouldn’t publish your stuff on the internet, right?

Right! I love going after the traffic. It’s a challenge in and of itself. But:

My inability to turn what I’m told is a bit of writing talent into regular readers has gotten a bit farther under my skin than I like and if I keep going, it’s going to burrow even deeper. So, instead of souring on blogging altogether, I’m going to walk away from it for a little while.

I feel that way a little bit now and then (I haven’t been blogging nearly as long as Jimmie), and when I do, I stop checking Memeorandum and Hot Air and just start typing.

Like now.

What, you thought this was some kind of cry for more traffic, just because I’m linking to all these people and putting up cheesecake pictures? Pshaw.

the-trogfatherSee, I know you guys think that this is all about you. You think it’s all about me attracting you as readers. To that, let me just say: ha! Ha! Did Don Corleone do people favors because he was a nice guy who liked to help people? Well, yes. Yes he did. But he also knew those favors would come around and mean good things for him eventually, too.

Don Corleone, the original Rule #2 blogger.

It’s like that, see. You gotta love the traffic, because traffic means readers. But at the most basic level, it’s gotta be about you. Or else you don’t enjoy it. And if you don’t enjoy it, it starts to suck. And once it starts to suck, you start losing readers anyway.

Right?

sarah-palin-wink

You betcha.

5 Comments
  1. October 22, 2009 11:34 pm

    Just when I think I’m off the blogging schide and have refilled my shallow tank of confidence, you go and put up this absolute masterpiece of commentary. It teaches me that my blog-fu requires more meditation and that I ain’t done hiatusing yet.

    Seriously, this is a good piece. Newbie blogger, attend! This man has strong blog-fu and you would do well to study him.

  2. October 23, 2009 12:19 am

    I agree with Jimmie, this was quite helpful. The only reason I have any traffic tonight is because a group of future journalists are studying my blog for bias no kidding . You can’t exactly plan for that to happen. It’s a little creepy but I am not turning my nose up at those night owls clicking through my blog trying to get their assignment done at the last minute.

    I am going to have to work on getting one of those instalanche things. Until then maybe I will hunt down some Hayden Panetierre lesbian kiss pics.

  3. October 24, 2009 1:40 pm

    Very well done. Lotta good wisdom..

    FYI: I haven’t posted a picture of Hannah Giles in over a month and, yet, on average, 30% of the hits I get each day are people searching for images of her [Google-bombing works]. I stand amazed and humbled by what Al Gore hath wrought.

    A CLARIFICATION…
    You wrote: Guys like The Other Smith and The Other McCain, who know they can get away with dissing me as long as they link when they do it, because I’m just that easy. For the record: that you are easy [and suave] is well known, but in that posting of Stacy’s you link to, the full sentence reads: Kevin Binversie is not nearly so shameless a blogwhore as Troglopundit . . . but then again, nobody really is. OK, maybe Bob Belvedere, as if anyone could compete with Bob. You may be suave, you may be easy, but I’m a bigger blogwhore who has worked very hard to obtain my brown nose [and I am cuter]. As we conservatives all pride ourselves on being truthful, it had to be stated.

    PS: It is all about me, at least according to Mrs. Belvedere, and the general’s wife is the general’s general.

  4. October 29, 2009 1:04 pm

    He never links me …. WAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

    I love the traffic and all, but I’m NOT the shameless blogwhore you are. You have elevated it to a science.

    ;) Congrats!

  5. October 30, 2009 1:34 pm

    Linked to at CLEANING OUT THE CACHE

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