This is why I’m glad the TrogloWife doesn’t spend as much time on the internet as I do.

From Ask the Bloggess (second item):

Dear Bloggess: My husband is on the computer all the time. Like, ALL THE TIME. I can’t get his attention no matter what I do. How can I get his attention without being completely pathetic?~ LS

Next time he’s on the computer set fire to your living room. Then be all “What’s that smell?” and make him go find the fire and put it out. Then the next day when he’s on the computer again set fire to the lawn furniture. Then glare at him with a raised eyebrow and tell him that you think it’s very suspicious that every time he gets on the computer something catches fire. Then if he gets on the computer again put some sort of small incendiary bomb in the refrigerator and when it goes off just look at him and say “What the f— is wrong with you? HOW ARE YOU EVEN DOING THAT? And what exactly is that you doing the internet that is worth more than our safety?!” If he still uses the internet after that you should leave him because I’m pretty sure at that point he’s tryingto catch the house on fire. Honestly, he sounds pretty unstable.

Caution: language warning.