There’s no such thing as a “roast badger.”

It’s like a two-horned unicorn or a hairless Bigfoot. It just doesn’t exist. And if it did exist, it wouldn’t taste like squirrel. It would be tough and tangy and would give anybody trying to eat it the worst indigestion…ever.

Still, props to Chris Wysocki, our new poet laureate. I understand he’s working on a musical version of Blazing Saddles, too, but he’s having trouble getting past the fart scene. He can’t write when he’s laughing.