Olympic Headlines

The thrill of searching Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit model archives, the agony of missing your event because you turned off your cell phone:

• German speedskater misses race because his cell phone was turned off.

He was the fourth alternate for the race. They couldn’t find any of the first three, either.

• U.S. snowboarder plans to live in a “yurt.”

That’s Hannah Teter, “organic vegetarian,” of whom I believe there are bikini pictures around, somewhere.

• Bronze-medal-winning snowboarder “just as happy to be here shooting guns with my friends.”

• German bobsledding favorites in frightening crash.

I saw that crash. It wasn’t that frightening. At least, no more frightening than any other crash in which the athletes don’t fly out of the course and into a concrete post.