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The Instapundit Drinking Game

July 26, 2010

I did a search for “Instapundit drinking game” and came up empty.  Hard to believe.  But a market niche is a market niche, as they say, so:

The Setup
You will need:

  • Computer and internet connection, with browser tuned to Instapundit;
  • Beverage of choice – presumably, but not necessarily, alcoholic;
  • Friends.  This may prove a challenge to some bloggers; it’s okay to fake it.

[For best results, click that little link icon under the first post of the day.  That way, you will only see the current post and next post title.  Depending on how your browser is configured, you may be able to see the URL of a link (usually at the bottom of the screen) before following it.]

The Rules
Take turns guessing what website a link goes to.  If you guess right, choose one friend and that friend takes a drink.  If you guess wrong, you drink.

Instapundit often names the source in his post; you can choose to skip these, or some of you will just get lucky.  Them’s the breaks.  And don’t forget, these rules are cumulative, not exclusive.

  • If it’s an Althouse link, everybody drinks.  [Bonus sub-game: everybody write down a guess of how many Althouse links there will be for the current day.  Anyone who gets it right doles out that number of drinks.  Hint: the over/under is 2 1/2.]
  • If it’s a Vodkapundit link, everybody drains their glasses.
  • If the subject matter is Pelosi, Reid, or out-of-control government, it’s time to spread the wealth around.  Everybody gives half their drink to the player with the emptiest glass.  That player drinks.
  • If the post begins with “They said that if I voted for McCain…” current drinker does not drink, everybody else does.
  • If the subject matter is Kerry, Edwards, or Gore, current drinker drinks with pinkie finger extended, laughs haughtily, says “thirsty, peasants?” and drinks again.
  • If it’s an “in the mail” link, the current drinker has 2 minutes to recite an original limerick or haiku before drinking.  If successful, pick another player to drink, otherwise drain the glass.
  • If the post references the Singularity, no rules are necessary.  Whoever needs to drink knows who they are.

UPDATE: wow, quite a reaction.  Thanks!  Here, therefore, are a few more:

  • If the post contains the terms ‘heh’, ‘indeed’, or any combination of the two, everyone puts his or her finger on his or her nose (on, not in).  Whoever is last drinks.
  • If the post contains the phrase ‘faster, please’, everybody chugs.  Whoever finishes last buys the next round.
  • If the post ends with ‘read the whole thing’, drink the whole thing.
  • And finally, anyone who gets an Instalanche buys a round for the house. Hi everybody!

ANOTHER UPDATE: What does it mean when Althouse says ‘heh’?

I’m seeing a lot of interesting ideas in the comments.  Let’s face it though, this is already the most complicated drinking game since the Pharaohs started one-upping each other.

Pictured: the only guy who can handle this game.

By the time you’re halfway through an insta-day you won’t be able to remember the rules, much less read the posts.  So feel free to add rules for your favorite Insta-linkee as you see fit.  Enjoy!

Troglopundit and the Mister Pterodactyl Consortium are proud supporters of the Designated Blogger Driver Program.  Please  drink responsibly.

[More, posted later]

58 Comments
  1. July 26, 2010 9:35 pm

    Any post where he goes, “Indeed.”

  2. Jake permalink
    July 27, 2010 7:30 am

    If it’s an Amazon link, you have to BUY all the drinks.

  3. michael schrage permalink
    July 27, 2010 5:57 pm

    if the post begins ‘unexpectedly,’ then the current drinker gets to throw his drink in the face of his/her choice and have that person buy the next round….

  4. Les permalink
    July 27, 2010 6:00 pm

    I can’t think of any other recurring expressions. Hmmm.

  5. eric permalink
    July 27, 2010 6:07 pm

    Any post that begins with: They told me if they elected John McCain there would be…

  6. Uncle Kenny permalink
    July 27, 2010 6:07 pm

    Heh.
    Faster, please.

  7. Ernie G permalink
    July 27, 2010 6:08 pm

    Heh.

  8. pat fisk permalink
    July 27, 2010 6:08 pm

    If the post has a “HEH”, some silly drinking rule applies (let others decide, I’m already tipsy today, and I don’t need a game to get there).

  9. Ernie G permalink
    July 27, 2010 6:09 pm

    Uncle Kenny: Great minds…

  10. July 27, 2010 6:09 pm

    heh.

  11. July 27, 2010 6:10 pm

    3 shots on Heh, Indeed together.

  12. Tommy Shanks permalink
    July 27, 2010 6:10 pm

    If it’s a Popular Mechanics post, you have to build a still and create your own drink.

  13. Carl Pham permalink
    July 27, 2010 6:18 pm

    If reader C. J. Burch adds something in a postscript, you invite one other friend to suggest how much you should drink.

  14. John Skookum permalink
    July 27, 2010 6:22 pm

    A link to Five Feet of Fury or Little Miss Attila allows the drinker to exchange his regular sized glass for a shot glass.

  15. Dave (in MA) permalink
    July 27, 2010 6:22 pm

    Indeed, in the mail:
    Heh, read the whole thing.
    Faster, please.

  16. Chris Nordby permalink
    July 27, 2010 6:25 pm

    If the post finishes with “Read the whole thing,” everyone follows the link and the first one to finish reading the whole thing doesn’t drink–everyone else does.

  17. July 27, 2010 6:25 pm

    Glenn Reynolds has too many irons in the fire.

    One of his recent op-eds described how Schlitz ruined its brand by gradually reducing quality. “Each incremental decline was imperceptible to consumers, but after a few years, people suddenly noticed that the beer was no good anymore.”

    A word to the wise.

  18. fit2post permalink
    July 27, 2010 6:26 pm

    If about photography, take a shot, of course.

  19. Carl Pham permalink
    July 27, 2010 6:26 pm

    And I can’t believe you forgot a Megan McArdle link. If that happens, an immediate auction is held in which the right to say “Heh” is sold to whoever offers to drink the largest amount. Players can Go Galt and refuse to participate in the auction, but run the risk of having their sex lives probed by Andrew Sullivan for the next year or so.

  20. mockmook permalink
    July 27, 2010 6:30 pm

    If I spy with my little eye a “Faster please”, then everyone must only have two glasses of red wine during the next 24 hrs…it’s healthier.

  21. Carl Pham permalink
    July 27, 2010 6:32 pm

    Ha! And if it’s a link to a PJTV episode, with a suggestion that you might want to subscribe, anyone who guessed right is allowed to subscribe the first person to his left who did not guess right, or Glenn Greenwald if no such person exists. Anyone about to be subscribed can avoid it by taking three swift drinks in a row and crying out Eject! Eject! Eject!

  22. Carl Pham permalink
    July 27, 2010 6:36 pm

    Man this is tooooo easy.

    If it’s a link to thefrisky.com and you guess right, you get to sign up the first person to your right who didn’t guess right for ashleymadison, or the Instapundit himself if there is no such person. If you’re about to be signed up, you can instead remove an article of clothing (if female) or (if male) take a drink, hoot, and stuff $5 into the cleavage of the nearest female.

  23. Tripper permalink
    July 27, 2010 6:37 pm

    I was gonna mention C.J. Burch and someone beat me to it. Damn it. How about no one drinks if the porkbuster pig graphic makes a showing?

  24. Tripper permalink
    July 27, 2010 6:39 pm

    mockmook, yes. If it’s a booze is good for your health post you get to pull out the beer bong.

  25. pelicans permalink
    July 27, 2010 6:41 pm

    I’m a little toasted at the moment and I am having a hard time with the rules so the only useful thing I can say is the Instapundit has been a wise and welcome friend. And whether you always agree or not, I’ll have a drink to Glenn. (Well, I already have . . . )

  26. JohnL permalink
    July 27, 2010 6:41 pm

    If there is a link to “Army of Davids” at Amazon, everyone helps drain the keg.

  27. Maverjck permalink
    July 27, 2010 6:43 pm

    “The country’s in the (very) best of hands”….everyone drinks while holding hands.

  28. Scorpius permalink
    July 27, 2010 6:44 pm

    Well, a drinking game can only help get us through the Obama administration if it is done everyday…except voting day.

  29. SCSIwuzzy permalink
    July 27, 2010 6:53 pm

    “I, for one, welcome my new robot overlords”, everyone must drink 151 or higher proof then attempt to light their belch, a la Bender.

  30. Claire C. permalink
    July 27, 2010 7:02 pm

    If Glenn links to Dr. Helen, then and one man and one women has to drain they’re glasses and go make whoopee.

  31. MikeH permalink
    July 27, 2010 7:11 pm

    Don’t forget zombies!

  32. anemone permalink
    July 27, 2010 7:16 pm

    If it’s a link to nanotech news, everyone take a wee little sip….

  33. Bri permalink
    July 27, 2010 7:17 pm

    No mention of bacon?

    -Bri

  34. July 27, 2010 7:18 pm

    If he links to Drudge and posts a blistering attack on the mainstream media in the same day, everyone must drink a Perrier and soda.

  35. Mike D. permalink
    July 27, 2010 7:20 pm

    If the link is about bacon, then its 2 shots of your favorite bacon beverage…

  36. Yevgeny permalink
    July 27, 2010 7:22 pm

    If it is a link to yet another golly-gee-exciting article on the electric cars, you wait three hours for your Volt to recharge and then hop into it and head to the nearest liquor store to pick up a bottle of scotch. Along the way you pray that it is open, cause you probably don’t have enough charge to get to a second store.

  37. Chris permalink
    July 27, 2010 7:24 pm

    If the post deals with space travel, everyone has to take a drink while standing on their head to simulate zero gravity.

  38. TRO permalink
    July 27, 2010 7:27 pm

    Any post about the horrors of revenue-raising traffic cameras or incompetent/corrupt police, everyone must drink but only after making a prank-call to 911.

  39. Tom permalink
    July 27, 2010 7:28 pm

    If you are encouraged to hit the “tip jar”, you tip the jar.

  40. Tom permalink
    July 27, 2010 7:33 pm

    After any reference to lamb, everyone chugs a glass of Guinness stout.

  41. Tom permalink
    July 27, 2010 7:40 pm

    Any reference to the 2nd Amendment requires each player to take six shots within 30 seconds.

  42. FD Baker permalink
    July 27, 2010 8:09 pm

    Iowahawk link – must laugh out loud while chugging.

  43. Randall Carter permalink
    July 27, 2010 8:40 pm

    How about a “Faster Please” drink?

  44. Chandler permalink
    July 27, 2010 9:50 pm

    If you can’t go to bed without checking Instapundit…
    You must stop drinking.

  45. Carl Pham permalink
    July 27, 2010 9:55 pm

    And of course…

    If the link is to the Volokh Conspiracy, everyone downs a shot of Stoli. If you guessed right, you get to drink before you read the linked post. But if you guessed wrong, you must read the entire post first, including the 245 comments from law students that make you want to claw your own eyes out and/or resign from he human race. Heh.

  46. Tennwriter permalink
    July 27, 2010 11:06 pm

    If he mentions how good chocolate is for your health-Kahlua.

    If he talks about scuba diving, one of those drinks with the umbrellas.

    If he takes a photograph that just happens to have pretty girls in it, kiss your wife, or if, as most bloggers, you’re single, ask a pretty girl out.

    If he tries to desperately promote yet another Libertarian to relevance by talking about the rise of power of Libertarians, then have NO drink. Everyone knows Libertarians are adolescents, and its illegal for them to drink. Or have a drink of the cheapest beer you can find.

    If he links to Frank J., grab a puppy and a blender, and lots of something really strong to kill the taste.

  47. Theerm permalink
    July 28, 2010 12:01 am

    Awesome! But it does seem like you would get sh*t-faced pretty darn quick…

  48. sillyaud permalink
    July 28, 2010 12:08 am

    If a reader’s update is more clever and insightful than the article linked..the smartest person in the room has to drink

    hmm: you have to hum while you drink

    talk about tenure and the higher education bubble..you have to wait 15 years to have your drink

  49. rastajenk permalink
    July 28, 2010 7:36 am

    I’m just gonna drink while the damn page loads.

    “Slower than molasses in January.” Hot Shots golf, circa 2000.

  50. Claire C. permalink
    July 28, 2010 9:12 am

    If Glenn links to a camera he endorses, everyone to the right (;) must drop trow, bottoms up, and take a pic.

  51. Carl Pham permalink
    July 28, 2010 1:26 pm

    Another. If the link is to TaxProf, then if you guessed right you’re a Peter, and if wrong you’re a Paul. The group elects someone as Uncle Sam. Each Peter is required to give 40% of his drink to Uncle Sam, who drinks as much as he likes, then divides the remainder, if any, among all the Pauls.

    Advanced players may introduce the wrinkle that any Peter who voted for the Uncle Sam may ignore his obligation to donate, provided he first says taxes are for the little people and Uncle Sam responds that’s not the Peter I knew.

  52. July 28, 2010 7:21 pm

    If there’s a link to Paco Enterprises, I’ll buy everyone a drink.

Trackbacks

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