The opossums to eat the rats…um…what eats opossums? Anybody know?
A few years ago, officials in Brooklyn, New York came up with a seemingly brilliant idea to deal with the rat-infestation problem in their borough: release opossums into the neighborhood to eat the rats. Once the rat population disappeared, officials surmised, the opossums would have nothing to eat and would disappear as well.
And nobody asked: what if the opossums just eat whatever the rats are eating?
Like most ham-handed government efforts at social engineering…
…I dunno whether this actually counts as “social engineering,” but…
…this one backfired: the opossums showed no interest in the rats, taking instead to rummaging through trash for food. Meanwhile, they procreated like mad. Result: Brooklyn is now overrun with rats and opossums.
So, what do we do now about the opossums? Althouse says:
Time to bring in some wolves, I think. They eat rats.
No, not wolves: bring in the Rednecks.
Look, Maw! Dinner!
Now…how do you get rid of rednecks?
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Now…how do you get rid of rednecks?
Well, we’ve tried hitting the tip jar and sending him to Alaska. And we’ve tried training kamikaze deer to total his Kia. But he just keeps coming back.
Once the rednecks get that there possum population in check, NYC can just outlaw beer and whiskey for awhile and we’ll mosey on off soon enough . . .
cuz we won’t be drinkin that stinkin chardonnay
Linda,
What are you thinking? Outlawing beer and whiskey will just give rise to the Redneck Mayfia and stills and sech.