“…there’s a reason why God cast Satan and his minions into hell instead of Wisconsin.”

I almost never read those articles in Cracked that I find on The Linkiest, but this one:

5 Things You Won’t Believe Aren’t In the Bible

This is a gem:

Satan famously bitched: “Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.” But there’s a reason why God cast Satan and his minions into hell instead of Wisconsin:

Well what kind of punishment would that be?

Hell sucks for everyone including imps and demons. According to 2 Peter 2:4: “God did not spare the angels when they sinned, but sent them to hell, putting them into chains of darkness to be held for judgment.”

That’s right, chains and prisons … for them. No iron fortresses, no fiery thrones, no mention of Satan ruling the cell block … all of that is from the Bible’s extended universe and fan fiction.

Dante and Bosch, the original buffs.