Another reason I may well live forever:

Being Imperfect Could Save Your Life.*

Constantly striving to live a faultless life increases your risk of a very imperfect outcome—early death. Experts specializing in perfectionism recently convened at an Association for Psychological Science Convention in Boston to present research looking at perfectionism and its effects on health, ranging from loss of self-esteem and resilience to increased stress and risk of death. It can even interfere with effectively dealing in a crisis situation.

Please note that, by “being imperfect,” they do not mean things like closing your eyes while you cross the street. Imperfect: yes. Likely to save your life: no.

Here: they included a checklist of perfectionist behaviors. Just don’t do any of these, and you’ll be fine:

1. Shows excessive concern over small, everyday tasks.

Please note that “excessive” does not equal “any.”

2. Worries about others’ approval.

Well, hell, we all do that, at least a little. And don’t try to argue, all you bloggers who are probably going straight from here to check your traffic for the eighth time today.

3. Frequently asks for extensions on deadlines.

That’s a little counterintuitive. You’d think a “perfectionist” would stick to deadlines like glue. But, no: they’re so afraid of not being perfect, they always want a little more time.

Poor old imperfect me, on the other hand, loves deadlines, because it forces me to get ‘er done whether it’s “perfect” or not.

4. Worries excessively about being a disappointment to others.

I think they mean “disappointment” in a negative sense. Not that anybody’s stressing that they haven’t been a disappointment. Clearly whoever wrote this doesn’t suffer from perfectionism themselves.

And:

5. Over time, the trait can be identified by excessive levels of worry, depression, and sense of failure (even if the person is talented and competent).

That’s the third time they’ve used the word “excessive,” leaving plenty of wiggle room for therapists to work with.

There may be a typo in this post. Or not. Piss off, perfesser.

* Note: that sentence would make for an interesting Christian conversation, wouldn’t it?