Forget picking the Round 1 upset…pick the Final Four. That’s where the money is!

Are you doing your brackets? If not, why not? And don’t give me any lame excuses about having to work! Spending working hours filling out NCAA brackets is a human right!

It’s no coincidence that the protests in Madison are way, way smaller today. Or, what, did you think people were just losing interest?

Let’s see…I’m going with Ohio State, Duke – or maybe Texas, although that’ll leave a mark – Kansas, and…um…Florida. That’s my Final Four. For now, anyway. Or maybe I’ll be boring and pick Pittsburgh. Go with all four #1 seed, just to make absolutely sure that I get two of them right.

Ooh, and I’m gonna pick all four #12 seeds. Because you know at least one of them will win, but if you try to pick the one #12 that wins and you’re wrong, then you only score 10 points for those four games. But if you pick all four #12 seeds and only one of them wins, you score 12 points.

Of course, if you pick all four #5 seeds and three of them win, that’s 15 points. So there may be a flaw in my reasoning there.

Quick blast-from-the-past time:

You have to consider the records. Who’ve they beaten? Who’s beaten them? And who’s beaten the teams that beat them?

What kind of team are they? Got a seven-footer inside? Can the other team’s outside shooting make up for that? How far do they have to travel? Because that could affect their fan base.

Any injuries? Illnesses? Did anybody miss significant time this season?

And are there connections between the coaches? Bad blood? Good blood? If the one coach’s former star player is now an assistant on the team that coach has to play, you’re gonna want to know that, because that could affect the outcome!

What’s the altitude? What’s the weather? What did my horoscope say this morning? I need all the information! All the factors accounted for!

Ah, fer cry-eye. Whaddaya think? Should I use my lucky quarter to make my pics, or should I just use a regular quarter?

More, from today’s Morning Joe:

I figure today is Bracket Monday, followed by Changing Your Bracket Tuesday, followed by No, Really, This Is My Final Bracket Wednesday, followed by Wait, I Have Until Noon to Get It In Thursday, followed by I Can’t Believe I Got So Many Wrong Already Friday.

Geez, such pessimism! How can you be so pessimistic while your brackets are all still blank? It’s the ultimate optimism-izer: all things are still possible!