I got a big envelope from the NRA today…

…which isn’t unusual. My father-in-law gave me a membership last year as a gift (I’d been meaning to join up for years), so I get American Hunter Magazine and the occasional other piece of mail from them now and then.

This particular oversized yellow-brown envelope said “open carefully along dotted line” written underneath a dotted line with little pictures of scissors on either end. I ignored this and tore the envelope open because, fer cry-eye, it’s the NRA. Don’t tell me how to open a friggin’ envelope! Guns I can handle, but opening an envelope? That’s too hard?

And inside was a bunch of stuff about additional cancer insurance. Insurance. From the NRA.

Hey, NRA! The only insurance I want from you is a spare clip, maybe!

UPDATE - this isn’t the first time I’ve had a disagreement with packaging. Remember the little milk cartons you got at lunchtime when you were in school? One side was always marked “open here,” or “to open” inside a little arrow. The arrow was there just in case the words “open here” weren’t enough to clue you in.

And for three years, I opened my milk cartons on the opposite side…because I don’t take orders from cartons.

Three friggin’ years it took for somebody to notice and ask what I was doing so I could use that punchline. Sure, it killed, but what a long wait.