Where was this story two weeks ago? Before Father’s Day?
It’s a $100,000 razor:
The handle of the razor is made entirely of iridium, an extremely scarce and expensive metal that is so dense it could survive a drop into molten lava.
Wow, good thing Sauron didn’t have any of that when he forged the One Ring.
Most iridium that appears on Earth is the result of crashed meteorites. The blades of the beast are made from artificially grown sapphire, making them hypoallergenic, not to mention many orders of magnitude sharper than your average Bic.
Alert the paramedics – Dad’s about to shave.
Quick story: several years ago, Kid #3 saw a commercial for the then-new Gillette Fusion, the latest development in razor technology that upped the ante by putting five blades – not four, but an unprecedented five – on the front, and a sixth blade at a 90-ish degree angle “for the tricky spots.”
Kid #3 was excited. “Five and one, Dad, five and one! For the tricky spots!” Naturally, I received one the following Father’s Day.
Tell you what, that’s a helluva shave right there. Damn fine razor.
Tell you something else now: replacement blades are expensive. Seeing the cost, I quickly retreated back to my old two-blade razor. While this felt rather like going back to our old 70s-era Apple II, it also protected the Dad Beer Fund from unauthorized depletion.
So. How much to replace blades made of “artificially grown sapphire?”
The company boasts a 10-year blade life, and backs it up with free sharpening for a decade if the razor ever dulls.
Oh. Well. That’s a deal.
Still, though: please nobody tell my kids.
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Saving your beer fund depletion is one of the most important things a man can do.
Anyone who can so effectively reference JRRT is a friend of mine.