I demand a sidebar!

In the 1987 movie “From the Hip,” Judd Nelson plays a young lawyer who scams his way into being lead attorney on a case involving his firm’s biggest client. The client (played by Edward Winter, most famous as Col. Flagg on M*A*S*H) is being sued for punching a business associate.

While on the stand, Nelson asks why he did it. Col. Flagg replies bluntly: “he’s an asshole.”

Shocked, the judge immediately orders that the comment be stricken. This causes Nelson to scream: sidebar! The word “asshole” must, he insists, be admissible!

Hey, sometimes there’s just no other word that fits.

Which brings us to “senior political analyst” Mark Halperin, who, while appearing on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” today, described President Obama’s Wednesday press conference thusly:

“I thought he was a kind of a dick yesterday.”

Halperin has now been suspended indefinitely. Which makes me wonder what Judd Nelson is doing these days.

Hey, sometimes there’s just no other word that fits.

UPDATE – “From the Hip” is both too old and too obscure to have much presence on the internet, but I did find a transcript of the scene on an Indiana Law School website:

Defense: Yes, Your Honor. Mr. Torkinson, how long have you known the plaintiff, Mr. Wilby?
A: Oh, approximately twelve years.
Q: And over that duration did you have an opportunity to form an opinion as to character of the plaintiff?
A: I did, yeah.
Q: Could you please state that opinion for the court.
A: You mean what I really think of him?
Q: Your honest opinion, sir.
A: He’s an asshole.
Plaintiff: Objection!
Judge: You bet. Sustained. The answer will be stricken.
Defense: Sidebar, Your Honor.
Judge: Sidebar? What for?
Defense: Because I want a sidebar. …. I respectfully request, Your Honor, that the answer be allowed.
Plaintiff: What!
Defense: It should stand. It is relevant.
Judge: And it’s offensive. Don’t compound it, Counselor.
Defense: Your Honor, if I may–
Judge: Tell the witness to rephrase the answer.
Defense: Well, that’s just it, Your Honor. He can’t. The word has a very distinct connotation. There’s nothing else that quite captures it.
Plaintiff: I object. You’re saying the president of a bank can’t articulate his thoughts without using profanity.
Defense: What I am saying, sir, is that there aren’t many words to describe the particular slime that your client oozes.
Plaintiff: Objection.
Judge: Mr. Weathers, just where in the name of God do you think you are?
Defense: I think, Your Honor, that I’m in a place where every citizen can have his say.
Judge: Yes, yes, but not in any way he wants to say it. Tell him to pick another word.
Defense: Like what? Deceitful? Dishonest? Conniving? They’re all close–
Plaintiff: Objection!
Defense: –but “asshole” really fits. It’s the only word that accurately describes him, and we can demonstrate just that. Everybody thinks he’s an asshole–
Plaintiff: Son-of-a-bitch–
Defense: Well, that’s good, too–