I won’t wear Abercrombie and Fitch for <em>half.</em>

Surely I can be as much of an embarrassment to a hifalutin’ clothing manufacturer as the Jersey Shore cast. Can’t I?

Well, maybe not. Still, paying me to not wear their clothes will cost them a lot less than paying them to not wear their clothes:

With their quick rise to fame, the cast of MTV reality show “Jersey Shore” has cashed in on a number of endorsement deals, including weight loss supplements, alcohol and bronzer.

But here’s a first. Teen apparel retailer Abercrombie & Fitch Co. is offering to pay Michael “The Situation” Sorrentino not to wear its merchandise.

The New Albany, Ohio company released a statement Tuesday evening titled “A Win-Win Situation,” in which it stated a “deep concern” over the association between Mr. Sorrentino and the brand. A&F offered up a “substantial payment” to Mr. Sorrentino “to wear an alternate brand.”

…The company also extended the pay-to-not-play offer to the other Jersey Shore reality stars and said it was “urgently waiting a response.”

Would it help if I acted like an ass in public for a while? Because I could.

Hat tip The Linkiest. And how the hell did this end up on Memeorandum?