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But it’s not the alcohol itself that makes you smarter. It’s the overall effect of the alcohol. Long term.

April 12, 2012

While I certainly hope this study wasn’t funded with my tax dollars, I also wish I’d been around to take part:

Drinking alcohol may enhance a person’s problem solving skills, according to a new study.

Whether to order another round, whether that guy meant to bump you, whether that girl’s giving you the “come hither” look…sure, alcohol helps you solve all kinds of problems!

Okay, kidding aside. This is serious.

Scientists found that men who either drank two pints of beer or two glasses of wine before solving brain teasers not only got more questions right, they also were quicker in delivering correct answers, compared to men who answered the questions sober.

participants with a BAC of 0.07 or higher solved 40 percent more problems than their sober counterparts and took 12 seconds to complete the tasks compared to 15.5 seconds by teetotal participants.

I should have titled this post: “From the ‘why didn’t they just ask me?’ files.” Fer cry-eye. This is a surprise?

No, it’s not. Not if you read The Trog. It’s the Wildebeest Theory. You know, when the giant herds of Wildebeests go on their annual migration, the predators start thinking “lunch.” But they don’t just grab any Wildebeest. They go for the old and sick ones. The ones that are easy to catch.

As any Animal Planet narrator will tell you: that makes the herd stronger as a whole.

Same deal with the brain and alcohol. The alcohol picks off the old, weak brain cells first, thus making your brain a stronger, more efficient machine. See?

I take it back: I should have titled this post “I’ll do it for half!”

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