Ranking the Olympic sports

I know this is meant in jest, but here’s this guy’s top three:

3. Water polo — They dunk you without warning and throw elbows like Bill Laimbeer. What goes on underwater stays underwater until it becomes a massive hematoma 48 hours later.

2. Triathlon — A mile swim in the open water, followed by a 25-mile bike ride and a six-mile run. No snark, that’s a lot of activity.

1. Equestrian – Can you ride a horse? Me neither.

Equestrian? All you gotta do in equestrian is stay on the horse. Sure, you’ll suck if that’s all you can do. But that’s basically all you gotta do.

While events like the marathon are, in fact, difficult, I’m also certain that I would at least finish. Eventually. Yes, the closing ceremonies would be over well before I crossed the finish line. Yes, I’d be slowed somewhat by the extra equipment I’d need. Sleeping bag, for example. But I’d finish.

I’d never even survive the first five minutes of a real water polo game.