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Important safety note: if attacked by a giant scorpion, try to wrap yourself in tissue paper for protection.

March 10, 2013

Sure, it sounds counterintuitive, but, well, you gonna argue with Doug Melvin?

Brewers general manager Doug Melvin got a scare Wednesday night when he was stung by a small scorpion in his condominium and spent three hours in a local hospital.

bark_scorpionI’d guess it was planted there by a Cubs fan, but there were no reports of Cubs fans dying of scorpion stings anywhere in the vicinity.

Melvin just told me that he reached down to pick up what he thought was a harmless bug with a Kleenex but it turned out to be an Arizona bark scorpion. Melvin was stung on the middle finger of his left hand and when he started experiencing numbness going up his arm, he Googled scorpion stings and decided he better go to a hospital.

“I spent three hours in an emergency room in Scottsdale,” Melvin said Thursday morning at the Brewers’ Maryvale training complex. “My arm is still totally numb.

It stung me right through the Kleenex. My arm started swelling and then the numbness started going up my arm, like when you hit your funny bone. I was wondering if it might go all the way up my arm and go to my heart. I got nervous when it got up to my shoulder, so I went to the emergency room.

Right through the Kleenex. Must’ve been one of those really powerful mutated scorpions.

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