My attempts to search go for naught.

Does anybody know how to do that? Track down a specific link on Facebook?

You couldn’t wait until after the SuperBowl to make this list?

No Hayden Panettiere? Well, okay, she hasn’t exactly been front-and-center lately. Ditto Padma Lakshmi. But no Gina Carano?

Ridiculous.

Okay, so Megan Fox came in at #96. At least she made the list. And Katy Perry made #16. But…

I don’t even recognize most of these names. Wait…Emma Watson at #17? Is that some kind of joke?

Fer cry-eye.

Sofia Vergara came in first, by the way. She’ll turn 40 this year.

Motivation #1: it pissed me off. So. Okay, fine, I thought. I’ll respond, just to get it off my chest.

Motivation #2: plus, maybe I can insult him at the same time. Maybe piss him off, resulting in an angry retort and a nice ranting 3,000 word post on how Perrybots like me are what’s wrong with conservatism today, whereas if more of us were old grizzled former newspapermen like him the world would be better off, which would directly result in:

Motivation #3: Traffic. Surely goading McCain into calling me names would cause people to click (because of course he’d include a link), and then wonder, awed, how I can combine wisdom and humor so effortlessly into blog form.

And then they’d make The Trog their homepage.

But a funny thing happened on my way to internet glory: a bunch of other bloggers went after McCain at the same time I did. A possibly incomplete list: Pat, and Chris, and Adrienne, and Doug.

Which means that, even if McCain does drag his lazy ass to the computer to see what we’ve all written, any such blog-rage traffic (like Perry’s $20 million) will be split up between a whole bunch of different blogs.

Dammit.

And not only that. I was hoping to piss him off, leading him to link to me…after he pissed me off, leading me to link to him.

Which means: we played right into the bastard’s hands.

And I bet he typed that post in the bathroom, too. I feel so…used.

A recently released survey of the mobile phone habits of Americans, going where few other surveys care to go, has found that 75 percent of the populace have used their mobile devices while on the toilet. Among those aged 28 to 35, the figure is 91 percent.

But this part:

It gets weirder. One-quarter of Americans say they will not go to the bathroom without their devices. While 63 percent have answered calls, 41 percent have called someone else while enthroned.

You’ve made calls? It’s not just a case of answering the phone?

Sixteen percent in the 28-to-35 group, the youngest sample surveyed, have made purchases there.

Hey, Ann, somebody probably clicked on your Amazon link while sitting on the toilet!

Hope you are sitting down for this…

…groan…

…20 percent of males have at one time joined a conference call from the toilet. Thirteen percent of American women have participated in meetings from the john.

Please tell me they weren’t video conferences.

A tiny revolutionary fold-up car designed in Spain’s Basque country as the answer to urban stress and pollution was unveiled Tuesday before hitting European cities in 2013.

The “Hiriko,” the Basque word for “urban,” is an electric two-seater with no doors whose motor is located in the wheels and which folds up like a child’s collapsible buggy, or stroller, for easy parking.

Dreamt up by Boston’s MIT-Media lab, the concept was developed by a consortium of seven small Basque firms under the name Hiriko Driving Mobility, with a prototype unveiled by European Commission president Jose Manuel Barroso.

Demonstrating for journalists, Barroso clambered in through the fold-up front windscreen of the 1.5-metre-long car.

One point five meters. I’m longer than 1.5 meters. Or, well, taller. Longer if I lay down. Which I probably could, next to that car, because if it runs you over, big whoop.

Okay, the reversible steering wheel is pretty cool. And:

The vehicle’s four wheels turn at right angles to facilitate sideways parking in tight spaces.

Yeah, because who could possibly parallel-park that monstrosity?

But since I can’t sit with my knees around my ears, I’ll just stick with my gas guzzler.

Headline:

Jail for man who attacked police with toy light sabers

PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) — An Oregon judge is using his force to order a 45-day jail sentence and mental health evaluation for a would-be Jedi who attacked toy store customers with light sabers last December.

…Portland police say (David Allen) Canterbury had a Star Wars light saber in each hand as he swung at three customers last Dec. 14 at a Toys R Us store…

…they shouldn’t have been standing so close to the toy fighter pilots…

… He carried the light sabers outside the store and swung at police.

Officers eventually wrestled him to the ground.

…after he was disarmed due to the lack of wrist straps on his lightsabers – a danger I’ve been warning people about for several years. But never fear, shoppers:

Canterbury has been banned from the toy store.

Phew.

Jonah Goldberg posted that at NRO. He writes:

Every now and then I love watching this (and things like it) to remind me that we’ve seen all this nonsense before. Note the year: 1979, the tail-end of another president’s single term.

I wish Friedman had thrown a little Margaret Thatcher in there, but who the hell am I to argue with him?

Something else that stands out about this video: notice how Donahue listens respectfully? How many talking head shows exist today which let the guest talk for more than a few seconds at a time?

Previously:

• Don’t get cocky, Tea Partiers: we’ve been here before.

If you had to pick the GOP’s 2012 presidential nominee today, which of the following candidates would you select?
4) Ron Paul: 11.6% (8 votes)
3) Rick Santorum: 21.7% (15 votes)
2) Mitt Romney: 31.9% (22 votes)
1) Newt Gingrich: 34.8% (24 votes)

These are tough questions, given the remaining field. Go read them all.

Step 1: start a twitter account.
Step 2: ?????
Step 3: buy a new yacht!

Except, we already know what Step 2 is:

The weirdest thing about the rumor that Kim Kardashian gets paid $10,000 for a Twitter endorsement is that it’s true.

No, Step 2 is not “have a relatively famous lawyer daddy and a sex tape.” Read on:

The pay rate for endorsing companies like Old Navy, Toyota, Best Buy, and American Airlines is determined by the size of a celeb’s following and how that group responds to his tweets with shares and retweets.

On that sliding scale, Snoop Dogg (6.3 million followers) is in the top tier of payments, on the upside of $8,000 apiece, while Paula Abdul (2.2 million followers) falls somewhere in the middle, in the $5,000-each range, and Whitney Port (800,000 followers) falls in the bottom tier, making around $2,500 per tweet.

Whitney Port was on MTV or something (yeah, that still exists. Who knew, right?), so she’s kind of borderline-famous.

But there are outliers. When Ad.ly introduced self-destructing Charlie Sheen to Twitter, he was paid about $50,000 per tweet. It was worth it. Sheen’s tweet for Internships.com generated 95,333 clicks in the first hour and 450,000 clicks in 48 hours, created a worldwide trending topic out of #tigerbloodintern, attracted 82,148 internship applications from 181 countries, and added 1 million additional visits to Internships.com.

Step 2: be ridiculously famous; or infamous; or maybe crazy; or …could you just have lots and lots of followers, even if none of them know who you are?

Because I could use a new yacht. Follow me, dammit!

Hat tip Ann Althouse.

Ha. I kid. A nice long rest might be just what McCain needs. In a nearly unheard-of (I kid again) bout of told-you-so-ism, McCain writes:

Just ask yourselves, Perrybots, what might have been possible if some other candidate — any other candidate, perhaps one who could remember how to count to three – had an extra $20 million to spend here in Florida.

I may or may not meet his standard for a “Perrybot.” I was on the Perry bandwagon. Then I got off. Then I ran alongside it, ready to grab hold and swing back aboard. I never quite gave up on him until he officially dropped out.

So regardless of his definition, I think I qualify, and will therefore respond.

One need not be a “Perrybot” to see the logical fallacy McCain is making. To wit: “if Rick Perry hadn’t entered the race, somebody else would have gotten that $20 million.”

I dunno what’s in that pile, but it smells.

Short answer: no, neither Rick Santorum, nor Herman Cain, nor Michelle Bachmann, nor Thaddeus McCotter would have received that $20 million. A small proportion of it, perhaps. I’m speculating, but it seems likely that other candidates would also have received some of it. Therefore whatever financial impact this fictional Perrylessness might have had would be distributive in nature, and thus zero.

No impact.

But even so, those sans-Perry contributions wouldn’t have added up to $20 million. Much of it was contributed only because Perry was the candidate. For McCain to speculate that this $20 million existed and was in play regardless of Perry’s candidacy, and that this $20 million would have made Rick Santorum competitive pre-Florida (or, perhaps, kept Herman Cain competitive post-scandal) is ridiculous.

Without Perry, that $20 million doesn’t enter the race in the first place. And even if it does, it doesn’t coalesce around a second- or third-tier candidate.

That’s like my 12-year-old thinking he gets a second piece of cake because his older brother isn’t home for dinner.

I think what McCain is trying to say is: if only one real conservative could have run from Day 1, then that real conservative could have cornered the real conservative vote, and we wouldn’t be stuck looking at Obamacare’s ancestor maybe getting the GOP nod.

Well, okay. Like I needed another reason to be happy that Paul Ryan never got in the race. Or Bobby Jindahl. Or Mitch Daniels. Or Scott Walker. Or Chris Christie. Or Sarah Palin, I suppose. Because those guys would have just mucked it up and split the conservative vote even worse for the one real conservative who was supposed to slap Mitt Romney down.

Feh. Oh, one more thing. McCain also wrote:

And you still refuse to admit that you were misled…

Because I wasn’t.

…and helped mislead others…

Because I didn’t.

…into jumping aboard that hopeless Bandwagon to Loserville. And who warned you, huh?

“What I fear will happen is that Perry will spend several months sucking up media oxygen and burning through GOP donor cash, only to collapse early next year. This will have the effect of suffocating other conservative candidates, and thereby lead to … Romney 2012.”

Wrote that August 9. Perry’s failure was entirely predictable.

So was Rick Santorum’s. And Herman Cain’s. And…oh, who the hell ran under the Libertarian ticket last time? You know, the lifelong GOPer who jumped parties after he couldn’t hack it in the primary and was going to Teach Those RINOs a Lesson?

Him too.