Skip to content

Still think the zombie apocalypse is just a silly joke kept alive by pasty-skinned basement-dwelling nerds?

May 29, 2012


According to police sources, a road ranger saw a naked man chewing on another man’s face and shouted on his loud speaker for him to back away.Meanwhile, a woman also saw the incident and flagged down a police officer who was in the area.

The officer, who has not been identified, approached and, seeing what was happening, also ordered the naked man to back away. When he continued the assault, the officer shot him, police sources said. The attacker failed to stop after being shot, forcing the officer to continue firing. Witnesses said they heard at least a half dozen shots.

Robert Farago thinks the lesson here is to “Shoot Zombies Until They’re Dead. Again. Still.” But I think the real lesson is: shoot them in the head.

The victim is reported to be at a local hospital. For now.

UPDATE – for some reason, the media is calling this the “Miami cannibal attack,” which…I dunno. Do you call zombies “cannibals?” Do they still count as human? Anyway, they’ve identified the zombie/cannibal, and they’re blaming something called bath salts.

See, that’s why I don’t take baths.

Comments are closed.


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 48 other followers